Monday, January 3, 2011

The "Real World"

Well, 18 months serving the Lord full time sure did end a lot faster than I anticipated, and "The Real World" is a lot different than I remember it being. At the beginning, I felt just like a rock star, seeing my family, my friends people I hadn't seen in so long. All celebrating my return... yup it was great. However a homecoming only lasts so long and they all pack up, say goodbye and go live their lives and I was left in the aftermath, trying to figure out what in the world I was supposed to do with mine. Is there purpose in doing the mundane tasks that are required daily? How could this possibly be more important than a serving the Lord?!? Two months in now, attempting to be social (occasionally succeeding), figuring out what normal conversation is like, hugging boys (ahh!) and working... practicing all of these skills I've lost and yet I'm still not sure how to be an effective tool in the Lords hands.

The neat thing however, is the way that Heavenly Father continues to take care of me. I still see daily miracles, tender mercies, and through the scriptures and attending the temple I can almost hang on to the spirit that once enveloped me daily. Truly, my greatest fear, is losing that spirit, and forgetting the things that I now know. How do we keep our perspective here in the crazy world??? My admiration for the people I taught has only increased since I have come home, because sometime, somehow during that 18 months I forgot how hard "real life" is. I forgot how many distractions there are and how easy it is to stumble. Now I am just trying to live my life in such a way that those who have changed my life forever, who taught me so much, will be able to continue to trust me. That's not such a bad purpose statement I suppose. It needs tweaking, but it will do for now.